life..

i just realized everything in the last three months of my life has been drastically changed...
no wonder i'm feeling a bit abnormal these days.

1. i moved
2. i got a new job
3. i lost the only person i've ever truly loved
4. i got a new vehicle
5. i haven't been to my second home for two months
6. i haven't traveled anywhere...

just a few things.
it hit me while driving the other day...
this is why things feel so weird.
and i can't seem to bounce back.
the only constant in my life is God.
but at times i feel he pulls away from me too.
i don't feel worthy of His love.
or any for that matter.

i am stuck.
lost....
for sure stuck in a huge hole... and i can't get out.
life is different and doesn't feel right.
i want my life back...
and i can't have it back.
it's killing me..
slowly.
but quick enough.